Le coffret à rêves

Légende

2006-08-17T22:40:00.000+02:00

Aujourd'hui mon chef m'a prêté un bouquin. J'ai été très surpris car il est venu dans mon bureau me dire "tiens, Léo m'a dit que ça pourrait t'intéresser". J'ai déviné que Léo c'est sa fiancée (ils se marient dans pas longtemps) car l'année dernière quand j'étais allé en Californie avec mon chef, des fois je prennais note des message qu'elle lui laissait lorsqu'il n'était pas à son bureau (on avait un seul téléphone pour les deux).

Je ne sais pas pourquoi il m'a donné ce livre, surtout parce que ce n'est pas qu'on est super pôtes, il est très sympa mais c'est mon chef et je suis trop sérieux, et puis, mes centres d'intêret sont différents de ceux de mes collègues. Pourtant je ne crois pas qu'ils savent combien je suis différent d'eux. Bref, le bouquin a l'air assez intéressant effectivement, je viens de le commencer, mais le prologue du livre dit:

Une vieille légende raconte qu'il fut un temps où tous les hommes étaient des dieux. Comme ils abusèrent de ce pouvoir, le maître des dieux, décida de le leur retirer et de le cacher dans un endroit où il leur serait impossible de le retrouver. Oui, mais où?.

Le maître des dieux convoqua en conseil les dieux mineurs pour résoudre ce problème.

- Enterrons la divinité de l'homme, proposèrent-ils.

Mais le maître répondit:

- Cela ne suffit pas, car l'homme creusera et trouvera.

Les dieux répliquèrent:

- Dans ce cas, cachons-la tout au fond des océans.

Mais le maître répondit:

- Non, car tôt ou tard l´homme explorera les profondeurs de l'océan. Il finira par la trouver et la remontera à la surface.

Alors, les dieux dirent:

- Nous ne savons pas où la cacher, car il ne semble pas exister sur terre ou sous la mer d'endroit que l'homme ne puisse atteindre un jour.

Mais le dieux maître répondit:

- Voici ce que nous ferons de la divinité de l'homme: nous la cacherons au plus profond de lui-même, car c'est le seul endroit où il ne pensera jamais à chercher.

Et depuis ce temps-là, conclut la légende, l'homme explore, escalade, plonge, et creuse, à la recherche de quelque chose qui se trouve en lui.

Feeling trapped

2006-07-24T18:26:00.000+02:00

Again about India, it's funny how sometimes a small phrase or a small event can make you realise something about your life.

On this occasion it isn't that I just realised it, because I'm very aware of it, but it made me remember it.

Just before leaving Calcutta Eli told me "don't leave, quit your job and stay here, you could even come to work to Barcelona, you'd get lots of girls there".
That phrase made me remember how "trapped" I feel.

You can't imagine how much I'd have liked to be able to do that. You can't imagine how much I'd like to go on a trip for 2 or 3 months like most of the people I met in India were doing.

But I can't. I can't because I'm not European, and when you're not European it's fucking hard to get a job, if not impossible. And thank God, I'm lucky 'cause I think I have a very good job.

If I had European citizenship I'd be able to move around Europe with the seamingless that all Europeans can, but I can't.

This isn't specific for Europe, I've European friends that went to live to Mexico and Brazil and experienced the same hassle. I don't know how it is/was for them, but for me I've to renew my work permit every year and also have a job. The worst thing is that companies that want to employ foreigners have to pay taxes when employing, so that makes it really hard for foreigners to find employment.

Thank to God I was lucky and this company wanted to employ me, and they went through all the burden that goes with it, lawyers, taxes, documents; it cost them a lot of time, effort and money.

I remember when I was in Barcelona I was offered a position in a company there. I hadn't even finished my studies when this guy wanted me to start working the next day! It was like the quickest offer I've ever had.

I would've liked to have stayed in Barcelona. After all I had spent a terrific year there, one of the best of my life, and leaving ment leaving lots of great moments, memories and people behind.

I still have the keys of the apartment I lived in when in Barcelona. I have them on the same key ring that I have regular keys, so I carry them with me all the time.

The company that offered me a job was a technological company that makes lots of stuff, like satellites; sad thing is it also works in the military sector. And I just can't do that. I can't work in the military sector or a company that makes stuff that might be used to kill people.

In India I couldn't take a rickshaw because I think it's a degrading job and that those people deserve a better job. The same goes for cars, I don't drive a car (I don't even know how to drive!, I never wanted to learn!) because I'm against oil and all that the oil industry represents, wars, natural disasters, pollution, etc.

There are things I just can't do, and I have to admit that I'm really grateful because I'm able to afford the kind of freedom other people can't. So I refused the offer in Barcelona, in same way I refused similar offers in France.

Now I'm just waiting, waiting until I obtain true freedom. I'm saving every single penny, because once I obtain the freedom I'm waiting for, I'm pretty sure I'll take advantage of it immediately.
I'd like to take a sabbatical year, or two, or as much as I can afford. To go around the world, working for all those NGOs I can't work for because I'm not European.

I've an American friend, Amy, who'd like to go to Africa for 2 years as volunteer. Another friend, Pauline, was in Poland for a year working with blind children. Caroline will be teaching english in Vietnam. Franzi will take the transiberian and go on a one year trip to Asia. Jaume is now in Turkey and Iran, in september he'll go to Mongolia for a month and then Brazil for 6 months. And so on. What do they have in common?, they are free, they have access to NGOs because they are citizens of their countries. They are free because they can return whenever they want. I can't. Not until I receive the ultimate freedom.

Until then, I have to keep missing chances, waiting. It shouldn't take long with God's will.

I spent the whole journey back from India thinking about this, feeling trapped. Thinking about all that I could have done if I could have stayed. And it was good (though in a way, painful too), because it made me remember what I want, it gave me the perspective I had somehow lost; feeling trapped made me want freedom again, long for it and do everything to obtain it, so that next time I don't miss the chance.

It is up to us to make the world borderless.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Back from India

2006-07-22T11:18:00.000+02:00

Yesterday night I got back from Calcutta. It was quite an experience, though people had told me so many bad things about it and with all the experience of my other trips, I didn't felt shocked like they had told me I would.

Yes, there's people living in the streets, but we've got that in Europe too. Plus, in India, these people living on the street would get a shower every day!, and even wash their teeth!, I know because I could see them doing it! That amazed me.

I wrote a kind of diary when I was in India, though it's in French so I might translate it, or if I'm too lazy, just post it like that.

I miss the people I met over there. It's weird because I'm used to travelling and meeting people, yet, after so many travels I still can't help missing the people I meet. I guess I'm lucky to meet people that'd leave a trace on me.

Out of all the people I met in Calcutta I guess the people I miss the most are Alba and Eli.

I met Alba at the airport, and she was the only stable roommate I had in two weeks. Other people would come and go from our room, people I also miss.
Alba would talk for hours, always with a lot of energy, sometimes so much energy that she wouldn't allow me to order food in the restaurant for example. Also, she'd repeat the same story over and over again to all the people who hadn't heard it before. Tough luck for me, I was usually present at the time she was repeating it; for instance the story about the guy from the hotel not waking up, and that she had to go to sleep with Angel, I think I heard it 9 times!, no kidding!.
She kind of gave me a massage once, well, she just did something it took her 10 seconds so I don't consider it a massage. I hope next time I see her, she'll give me a real massage.

I also met Eli on the first day, though, like me, she became ill a few days later and she spent a week in the hospital. She got out of the hospital just one and a half days before I left. I didn't get the chance to talk to her as much as with Alba but I liked her a lot. That "funny" accent she has drove me crazy the whole time. Plus she could do a perfect Argentinean accent. Never in the time I've been living in Europe have I met anybody that could do the Argentinean accent. Not even myself!.
She'd smile everytime I'd take a picture of her, and what a smile!. She was always wearing a bandana on the hair, though unlike Ana, she took it off the last day.
I really hope to see her again.

There was also Ignaci, le gaffe, poor guy. Just arrived in India, he lost his passport!. You can imagine the hassle. Well, what you just imagined is nothing.

It seems in India if you have no passport they won't let you in to an hotel!!. I don't know how he managed to get a room in the first hotel, but he did. The only thing was it was a bit expensive, so he wanted to change.
In the meantime, he'd go back and forth to try to get some more formal documents, as the photocopy of his passport wasn't accepted anywhere.
When he thought that it was over and believed he could change hotels, he did, and came to our room.
But, bad luck again, I don't know for what strange reason, at our hotel they asked him for his passport. Shit, they hadn't asked passports to anybody before!.
Anyway, they told him that he couldn't stay at the hotel without a valid passport. So he tried to go back to his old hotel. But again, bad luck, they told him it was full!. So he didn't have a place to sleep!.
Thanks to God he managed to get a bed in another hotel where the rules weren't so strict, well, maybe it was that they just didn't know he was there!.

At the beginning, there was Alba, Diego and myself in the room. It was a nice room, we even had cable TV. And I can tell you that's really something when you're sick and can't go out. I spent 7/13 days sick. I had diarrea. Thank God it was only mild, because some other people that got diarrea had fever, they were vomiting, etc. and had to go to the hospital. Some are still in the hospital, I hope they're recovering. Get well soon guys!.

Then Diego left, and Ignaci arrived. Then Ignaci left and Alba arrived (another one). Then Alba left and Antonio arrived. Then when Eli got out of the hospital, she also came to our room. Then I left, and somebody must have replaced me. Jorge, Miguel and Toni also spent some nights in our room. That room, room 7, was an hotel on its own.

Out of the 7 days I was ill, I think 3 days were very bad, and couldn't go out, mostly because I was tired all the time and I wasn't hungry either. In any case I thank God it was a mild sickness given I didn't had to go to the hospital like other people. After that I started to eat again. First plain white rice, but whenever I saw it, I just couldn't eat it. I tried it for one day, but after that I gave up and started eating normally. The following 2 days, even though I was feeling better I spent them at the hotel to rest. After that, even though I kept on with liquid stools, I started to go out and work again.

Toni was also ill for a day I think. Ignaci too. Alba for about 2-3 days. Diego I don't know. Of the girls downstairs, Fatima had fever for 1 or 2 days. The three french people downstairs were ill too.
I don't think I met anyone who wasn't ill.

Anyway, this is just a brief post so I'll talk about all the other people I met over there some other time, yet I would like to thank to all the people I met in India for their company, for all those chats we had about our shitting habits, and all those moments we shared. I miss it all already.

Anyway, I'll go get some yoghurt de frutilla del que tanto soñe. Y despues, ensalada!.

Back from Munich

2006-07-03T20:43:00.000+02:00

Yesterday night I came back from Munich, I was there to meet Gianpiero, Maurizio, Silvia, Yvonne and Verena. Guillaume also came. We had a lot of fun, like we used to in Barcelona and Paris.

Guillaume and I arrived on friday night, after almost staying trapped inside the airport because the was no fucking body there (a sign of big celebration...) to open a door, we met the rest of the band at the train station, because we were heading for Augsburg where Yvonne and Verena (our hosts) live.

When they saw me, they started to sing "don't cry for me argentina", specially Yvonne and Verena, so I guessed that Argentina had lost against Germany. I hadn't seen the match because I don't really follow sports on TV.
Italy had won too, so the italians were happy too.

In those circumstances the trip showed promising, given there'd be lots of partying, specially in big cities like Munich. Tough luck we had to catch the last train to Ausgburg so we couldn't stay.

The next day was pretty cool. After having breakfast at 14h in Verena's garden, we went to do a picnic in some park, just in the border of a river.
When there we learnt that Portugal had won. Shit, I had bet against!.

After that we went to watch France-Brasil to some bar. To my happiness, and that of Guillaume too, France won. I wanted France to win, first because I live in France, and second because I didn't want Brasil to win. So even for me it was a double coup.

Later we went to this very nice pub, in the open, where they had torchs, a small river flowing under, lots of people. Being Argentinian in Germany the day that Germany beat Argentina in the World cup wasn't easy. When people would realise I was a foreigner, they'd ask where I was from, and there you go, I made lots of friends...it wasn't that bad after all. First I didn't care, which seemed to bother my friends who were expecting to tease me, and second the guy from the barbecue at the bar, allowed me take a second dish for free.

On sunday, the italians would leave at noon, so we went to the train station with them. In the train from Augsburg to Munich we'd paint ourselves with the German flag and do all kind of silly things. I also started talking to a girl in the train, she even spoke spanish because she had been in Argentina, she was a surfer and was going to Costa Rica. Going to surf in Costa Rica or Indonesia is one my "selfish" dreams.

After the italians left, Guillaume, Yvonne, Verena and me we'd go to a park in Munich and stay there for the afternoon, sunbathing, walking, again a cool day. After that we went to Marienplatz, which is like the central square of Munich (or of any other German city for that matter, as there was Marienplatz in Cologne too). There there was this girl that was taking pictures. She had a really old camera, a medium format Hasselblad with a 100mm Plannar T* Lens, one of the best lenses ever made! Wow!.

Guillaume and Yvonne, playing the 8 year old kids, started telling me really loud that I should go talk to the girl, saying "come on, go talk to her, look at the camera she's got, she likes photography as much as you!, she must be the girl of your dreams, don't she?", and they'd actually drag me to her. Malakas! what were they thinking? she could hear them! and see them! she was 2 meters away!.

Anyway, I didn't go talk to the girl, after all it wouldn't be natural anymore, the was no more spontaneous moment, it was gone, they had just killed it.

(To Guillaume and Yvonne, quit the 8 year old attitude and next time be more discreet! is not like if I hadn't thought about going to talk to her!!)

The awkward moment passed, well, I'm not 8 so I wasn't embarrased, but maybe the girl she was. Ohlala, les enfants!. And then Guillaume and I left for the airport and back to Paris.

Matthieu à Paris

2006-06-25T20:44:00.000+02:00

La journée d'hier a été chargée.

Je devais me reveiller très tôt car j'allais à Versailles pour aider l'organisation d'un weekend de préparation pour les gens qui partent faire des chantiers avec Concordia.

Ça faisait quelques jours que je n'avais plus de nouvelles de Marie, du coup je pensais que c'était trop tard pour y participer, mais vendredi soir elle m'appele pour me demander si c'était bon. Je n'avais plus prevu d'y aller d'autant plus que Matthieu venait à Paris samedi et que c'était son anniversaire!.

Finalement j'ai dit que j'y allais mais que je ne pouvais pas rester tout le weekend.

Alors, samedi matin je devais me rendre à Versailles à 9h30!!, alors je devais me reveiller très tôt!. Evidemment je ne suis pas arrivé à 9h30, mais vers 10h et quelques.

L'organisation s'est deroulé très bien, il y avait des gens que je connaisait déjà des weekends de préparation de l'année dernière. Par contre on n'était pas beaucoup d'animateurs. On n'était que 5!.

On a discuté, on a joué les jeux typiques, mangé, et ensuite j'ai participé en tant qu'animateur à un des jeux socio-psychologiques prévus pendant le weekend. Le jeu s'appele Albatros si ça vous dit quelque chose. Étant donnée la nature du jeu qui est la decouverte et tester l'ouverture d'esprit des participants, je ne peux pas le raconter, il faut le jouer.

C'était sympa sauf que des fois j'oubliais ce que je devais faire, heureusement Marie me faisait signe et je m'en souvenais.

Après ce jeu-là, les discussions par pays de destination ont commencé. J'étais chargé de la Thailande, mais comme je devais partir très tôt pour l'anniversaire de Matthieu, je n'ai fait que rester un petit peu de temps, prendre quelques photos et repartir.

L'anniversaire de Matthieu

Ca tombait bien que l'anniversaire de MatthieuT soit ce samedi-ci, car MatthieuK organisait une sorte de pendaison de cremaillère ou soirée. C'était trop sympa car en plus il s'agissait d'une soirée deguisée!. Tout comme en 2004 qu'on avait feté les 25 ans de MatthieuT avec une soirée deguisée qui a fini par devenir mythique.

Comme d'habitude, je n'avais pas de deguisement, en plus le thème était assez complexe "dessins animés et séries de notre infance". Je n'avais pas passé mon infance en France alors c'était mal parti.

Mais, j'ai trouvé l'excuse, comme la derniere fois, je me suis deguisé en romain, chose qui est assez simple à faire, il suffit d'un drap. Le seul problème, c'est que je n'avais pas de drap blanc!. Un drap jaune a fait l'affaire.

La soirée était pas mal, avec MatthieuT sans deguisement, MatthieuK deguisé en Corto Maltesse, Guillaume et Kyun hee deguisés en un truc coréen je crois. Marc et sa copine aussi en trucs japonais. Et d'autres gens en d'autres trucs. Il y avait deux abeilles Maya, une fée de Peter Pan, et d'autres mecs dont je ne me souviens pas leur deguisement.

Ensuite il y a eu Neus qui est arrivée avec tous ses collocataires deguisés en Tortoues Ninja!. Leur deguisement était genial, il y avait les 4 tortues et même le rat qui apparement était le méchant.

C'était une soirée trop sympa.

Fête de la Musique

2006-06-21T21:26:00.001+02:00

La traditionelle fete de la musique s'est deroule aujourd'hui, enfin, ce n'est toujours pas fini!.

J'etais un peu fatigue, il n'y avait un plan precis, Neus voulait aller ecoute l'Orchestre Nationale au Musee du Louvre, Guillaume etait partant pour aller voir le concert de JB qui jouait dans un bar je crois; Pauline elle faisait un autre truc au Jardin du Luxembourg je crois, etc.

En plus d'etre fatigue, il y avait des fortes chances de pluie. D'ailleurs, il pleut en ce moment. Du coup, je n'ai pas fait la fete de la musique cette annee.

Yvonne à Paris

2006-06-18T15:23:00.000+02:00

Yvonne etait venue a Paris cette semaine. Elle est repartie hier soir. C'est vraiment con car en fait elle avait pense qu'elle restait jusqu'aujourd'hui, mais en fait non.

Elle etait arrivee jeudi le 15 juin et elle a du repartir samedi le 17 soir. Apparement elle avait pris un voyage organise, sauf que tout ce qui lui interessait c'etait le billet de bus car ensuite elle est restee chez Neus.

Jeudi, Guillaume et moi on ne pouvait pas la voir car on avait un dinner avec Pauline et ses amis dans un resto Polonais pour feter sa rentree de Pologne.
C'etait trop sympa, surtout que cette fois-ci on a mange des trucs polonais, alors que lorsqu'on etait alles visiter Pauline on avait mange dans un resto Espagnol, et puis dans un autre truc, rien de polonais.

Bref, du coup vendredi on a fait un pique-nique. Il y avait David, Guillaume, Kyun Hee, Neus, une copine de Neus, le colloc allemand de Neus, Yvonne et moi. Un peu plus tard, du genre 2h apres le rendez-vous, il y a eu Axelle et Charles qui sont arrives.

Comme d'hab, c'etait trop sympa, le pont des arts etait plein de monde, en plus sur le pont il y avait une exposition de photographies qui me plaisait beaucoup.

Le lendemain, samedi, Neus avait cours de salsa, alors Yvonne et moi on s'est promene en attendant que Neus finisse son cours. C'etait trop sympa car on a decouvert une sorte de jardin collectif qui etait plein de trucs bizarres, c'etait tres curieux.

Apres ca, on est alles manger dans un resto. Comme d'habitude Yvonne n'a pas mange (je n'ai jamais compris son truc, car a chaque fois les explications sont incompletes). Neus et moi on a pris une salade, et moi j'ai trouve un ver dans la salade. Du coup, on nous a offert un dessert que Neus a mange.

Ensuite on est alles chez Neus pour aller a la piscine. On est alles a la piscine, et ensuite on est montes sur la terrasse pour bronzer. Ohlala quelle vie!.

Puis, Guillaume et Kyun hee sont arrives, mais sont repartis dans tres peu de temps.

Nous on est restes et on a prepare une enorme salade et on s'est regale comme des rois. Tomates, mozzarella, olives. Ohlala.

Apres, Yvonne devait partir donc on l'a raccompagne jusqu'a son bus.

Ce meme soir, il y avait une soiree prevue chez Neus. J'y suis alle, mais tant moi comme Neus on etait fatigues. Du coup, on n'a pas socialise de masses et on a fait un peu les autistes.

On a parle quand meme avec quelques allemands qui etaient la, ils etaient des architectes et etaient tres cools.

Ensuite, il y a eu un islandais qui est venu nous parler. Quelle coincidance!, le mec faisait une ecole de cinema a Paris et avait ete dans un bar ou Guillaume et moi on avait ete ca faisait quelques semaines et ou un groupe d'etudiants en cinema fetaient le fin du tournage d'un courtmetrage qu'ils avaient realise!!.

Et moi qui adore les courtmetrages, j'ai discute pas mal avec le mec et ensuite je lui ai donne mon numero car il cherchait des gens pour un courtmetrage!!, si ca se trouve je jouerai dans un courtmetrage!!, comme quand a Barcelone on avait ete figurants pour un film!!.

Sortie Roller

2006-06-11T21:12:00.000+02:00

Aujourd'hui j'etais alle faire du roller avec Axelle, Edouard et Pauline.

C'etait trop sympa car ca faisait quelque temps que je n'en faisait pas, en plus il faisait super beau, voir un peu trop chaud peut-etre.

J'etais arrive trop a l'avance, 1h et quelque avant le rendez-vous, alors arrive a Concorde j'ai mis mes rollers et je commence me ballader en direction du rendez-vous qui etait en bas de la tour Eiffel.

La-bas, apres s'etre tous retrouves, on a commence la ballade sur les quais en direction de Notre-Dame.

Puis on s'est devie et on a pris le boulevard Saint-Germain pour ensuite s'arreter a l'Indiana d'Odeon. On a pris un truc, et on a meme vu la randonnee roller de Paris passer devant nous, car ils sont passes par le boulevard Saint-Germain.

On les avait deja croisse a Invalides, et ils etaient des milliers!.

Je n'aime pas la randonnee roller car il y a trop de monde, ca m'etouffe lorsqu'il y a trop de monde, je prefere les endroits tranquiles.

28

2006-05-22T19:53:00.000+02:00

Well, seems like everybody's getting a blog lately. When I started this blog it was mostly personal, actually I still haven't given the address to anybody. Why have a personal thing on the internet where everybody can see it?. Because I don't mind, I mean, after all if you don't know me why would you read this anyway? Even those who know me might find this boring.

Actually I had always wanted to have a website to share my passions with my friends, one of them being photography, I wanted to have a website about photography. That's still a work in progress given the amount of pictures I have in my collection.

Anyway, given another of my passions is writing why not start with a blog?, normally if you're reading this is because you already know me and I gave you this link. So as you already know, I'm not good at expressing myself, "language is the source of misunderstandings" said the fox to Le Petit Prince.
I guess in my case this is particularly true since I usually don't communicate much, and when I do I just can't seem to get straight what I want to convey, therefore I usually screw things up, even though I never mean to hurt anybody.
Some people would say I speak a lot but it's not true, it's just another misconception about me. Otherwise you'd already know everything I'm about to say.

However, when I do find how to express what I feel, is like I can't help not doing it, after all it's such a rare event that I can't miss the chance. I'm mostly lonely and don't like to bother other people with my stories (well, except some friends) and I rather spend the time listening than talking (the only exception being when I'm under the effects of the psychoactive drug caffeine; seems I'm extremely sensitive to it, as most of you already know); so I write.

As you already know too, I do like to write a lot, with a predilection for letters, writting helps me order my thoughts and feelings (if I had ever had) and so here I am, writing, but today I'll start since the beginning given that's the usual starting point, beware, this is gonna take a long time...

Everything started on a morning of 22nd of May, just like today, but in 1978, in some place on this planet. Few days later, the FIFA World Cup will start and Argentina will win the championship. That was the year of the the first Star Wars, and I guess lots of other stuff happened back then.

22nd of May is Gemini "Deux forces luttent en toi ce qui te fais agir de façon contradictoire. Tu es hésitant car tu ne veux rater aucune opportunité. Ta curiosité et ta soif de découvertes sont sans limites. L'être aimé est ton modèle".

That day of May, a woman gave birth to her first son. Four years later she'll give him a brother. Those two childs will be raised in complete freedom by their parents, they wouldn't never ever tell them what to do, what not to do, or forbid them anything. That'd prove to be an extremely important and determinant factor on the personality of the children.
Given this family was not rich nor educated they wouldn't be able to give the childs all that they would ask, yet, for some weird reason the kids would understand that even at an early age, bear with it with unseemingly nature and even becoming simple enough to appreciate even the smallest and simplest things.

Another thing that I believe determinant in my life is my mother showing me documentaries about Africa, telling me about those childs with the inflated stomach. Also in 1982, some crazy dictator decided to invade the Malvinas, a group of islands which Argentina had been claiming for years to the UK. Argentina lost that war of course, and like in any other war, lives were taken, families were broken, wives were made widows, sons lost their fathers, and all that for nothing, because nothing is worth a single drop of blood. I was 4 and my mother was already telling me that I should protect life, respect my fellow men and there's nothing worth dying for nor killing for.

The kids kept on their education, with my mother teaching me how to look on a dictionary and how to read at a very early age. My parents would buy a 22 volume encyclopaedia and do everything in their hands so that their sons would get the education they never got.

I believe those facts have been determinant in my life.
Because I was never put limits I don't conceive limits, for me a limit seems to be a lack of willingness to do something. I truly believe one can do whatever one wants, there are no limits, nor borders, nor distinctions, nor races.
Somehow I was raised to not hate anything, but to try to understand things, to not judge nor think bad about people, and furthermore to help people as much as I could; my mother's biggest dream was her sons would become doctors to heal everybody. I didn't know it back then, but that's the way it turned out.

I remember the first day of school, I didn't wanted to go, I was crying and asking my parents to let me stay at home and sleep. Later on, I kinda got used to it, I was lucky as I didn't find it hard, I barely had to study, ever.

Even if they forced me to go to school, later on they'd explain to me what would happen if I didn't attend to school and didn't get education. We got that right.

My First Friend

The first friend I remember was a girl from across the street. My parents and theirs were friends. She was younger than me, but she had a balance and that was like the coolest thing ever. I remember I was always crossing the street bringing loads of weird stuff to weight, it was a toy, but I guess it gave some good readings. Like childs always do, my friends were saying I was in love with her, I was only 4 years old!!, oh people! She moved out to another city two years later or so.

I guess I spent a "normal" childhood, school, friends, playing in the street, playing doctor with the girls, getting beaten up by older childs and lots of other interesting stuff.

At some point, I got my first bike, and the very same day, I opened my head by falling into a small canal. I remember my head bouncing inside that small canal, then I remember my mother crying, then I past out for sometime, I woke up again while they were closing my wound at the hospital, and again I past out some hours.
Yet, I didn't gave up on bicycling and soon after I learnt, and since then I had never forgotten how to ride a bike, confirming what the old saying states.

When I was 8, I remember I said to myself that I would never get married, the typical boy thinking given girls were getting so ballbreakers. Birthdays started to get "dancing parties", and boys and girls would get awkward when expressing their first "attraction".
I remember it was really awkward for me, first, I had said I wouldn't get married and I considered myself (and I still do) a man of word; second, because I didn't like to dance because it was girly; third because of childhood "social" pressure, that is, boys should be tough, play football and fight, not hang out with girls playing "mom and dad"; and fourth, because I'm not sociable!, instead of being talkative, I like to listen, I don't mind staying in silence and I enjoy just being, I'm weird I know.

I guess I was 9 or so when my parents gave me the key of the house, that was great, I could come back at any time!. They'd never ask me were I was going, if I had done the homework, nor anything. For some weird reason, they'd just trust me. Back then, it was safe for kids to play in the street until really late, I remember I was getting back at 1 o' clock in the morning!!. As long as I woke up the next day at 6 o' clock to go to school, my parents wouldn't say anything. We'd even go do barbecues (we were 9 year old kids!!) on the border of a big canal.

My Brother

In the meanwhile, my brother would love me as a divinity, I don't know why really. I mean, I was being the worst brother on earth (and that still holds true...), I was always blaming him for whatever I'd do that my parents would get mad at. He had this strange predilection for breaking stuff, so whenever something was broken it was easy to point him out. He'd stand that without a blink, he'd put up with all that shit I was giving him and still adore me. He'd even go to say he broke something he didn't so that I didn't get "punished", and take the blame for me.
And what I was doing to thank him?, I was not brining him to play with me because I considered him to be a burden. Unfortunately, he had bad feet so he had to use some weird shoes that didn't allow him to run, hence he couldn't play football nor play like any other child, running all over the places.

I never really thank him for all that he did for me, for all the blame he took for me so that I wouldn't get punished (punishment consisted in not going out, which was the thing I loved the most) and to be able to go play outside, while he'd look me playing thru the window. I still remember that image, of my brother gazing thru the window because he couldn't play like other kids, he'd stay the whole day there, looking, waiting until I came back.

I believe he still considers me like some kind of role model. It's weird, because I consider him a model to follow, with his unbreakable faith on me, his endless and infinite capacity to forgive me.
Maybe he did that because I was his older brother, or maybe he could see what I can't even see myself.

My brother was very creative, given we had not much toys we'd make our own toys, or when some toy would get broken, we'd make a new one with the parts. We also had these "lego" kind of building blocks which really encouraged us to use our imagination.
I remember we'd build delta planes, parachutes, boats (with motor!) and even planes with an accurate aerodynamic profile (given we'd look up everything on the dictionary and watch lots of documentaries we knew how to do that). I was more practical building stuff, he'd draw a lot more, and make his own stuff with paper.

I think that helped us a lot with imagination. And I think that dreaming and imagination are strongly related. I guess that the same way we'd imagine toys and how thing works, we'd also imagine and dream of changing what's wrong to make it right.

I don't know how my parents managed to get both children to stand by their beliefs, but they certainly made a very good job.

Girls

When I was 10 or something, I remember it was the birthday of a very good friend of mine but as I knew it'd be a "dancing" birthday, I stayed quiet about it. But somehow, my parents found out and literally drag me there and left saying they'd come back to pick me up at midnight.
So there I was, with 4 hours to kill on a dancing party where almost all my class was present. I managed to escape dancing for sometime, but kids were leaving and at some point there were very few kids left, including some girls. Everybody was pushing me to dance, the guy whose birthday we were celebrating promised me he'd call me by my name (before he'd use a nickname) if I danced, so I finally did ask a girl to dance. She had been sitting next to me for 2 years already, we were friends already and she was quite cool. It wasn't so bad after all, specially because it seemed easy. I just had to put my hands on the girls waist, she'd put theirs on my shoulders and we'd dance to the rhythm of some of Roxette's slow songs.
By then I had forgotten about the "never get married" thing. I loved dancing with her.

Later on, we had this end of elementary school trip, a trip that's traditional for kids that are leaving elementary school and are about to enter high school.
We went to the typical destination, which was about 700Km from were I lived. We'd stay there one week I think, and I really don't remember everything we did.
I remember though that we were going to a discotheque. It was a whole new experience, we'd go there and ask for drinks (non alcoholic of course) check out the girls, talk, in the middle of all these colourful lights, fake smoke coming from the ceiling, and those flashes that give you the impression people is standing still.
At this age kids were already thinking into dates. I remember it was funny, cause you'd ask "how would you like to go out with me?", seems silly, but it was a lot more direct and easy than what dating would become when growing older. I guess loosing childhood innocence makes everything so complicated...

I've never being a sociable person despite what most of my friends think. That makes me think that nobody really knows me, or that somehow I have two personalities and that what I see about myself is different from what other see. Not being sociable doesn't help making friends, and needless to say, it doesn't help with talking to girls.

There was this girl that she'd always tell me stuff, she'd cheer for me when I'd play some sport, when I'd get vaccinated she'd come to help me feel better, etc. I remember once I was doing bicycling somewhere and she saw me and shouted me "hi handsome", I guess she was being ironic.
She was a small blonde with glasses and light-blue eyes. I really liked her when wearing glasses, I don't know why. The thing is that she was one of the smartest and prettiest of the class, so why would she like me? I never knew if she ever did. Though I did miss her when we left elementary school and everybody went to a different high school.
I liked a lot how she'd dress, and I still consider very important the way a girl dresses, somehow it shows how is she. People that dress "too good", are complicated for me, I'm a simple person, complicated life style is not for me. I like people that dress colourful and "weirdly" (with respect to the rest of the people), that seems to be like a constant for the coolest people I've known.
Is not that I don't like the occasional "lady in red" breathtaking dressed girl, I do like it a lot to lost my breath that way, just that I've to breathe sometime!

So, here I am, in the school trip, on the first discotheque I've been in my life and again, I've to dance. The small blonde was wearing a miniskirt, a revolution taking into account it was 1990 and she was 12!. In order to help a friend who liked her girlfriend, I asked to dance this blue-eyed queen so he could dance with her girlfriend.
Given my lack of social behaviour, my inherent and extreme rationality and my also extreme shyness, introversion and a bit of autism, we just danced, talked about the other couples, but nothing happened between us. I was dancing with the prettiest (to my understanding of course) of the class, and nothing happened. What a dumbass. Later on I'd miss her and regret that.
Well, not really regret, not having felt anything "more" annoys me. I mean, I was fine dancing and talking, it didn't crossed my mind to do anything else but I can't regret that, it's just the way I am.
But that's like the only constant in my life, the fact that I always seem to miss the wagon. When it's not because I met the girl just before leaving some place, it's because I arrive when she's leaving. Every single trip is like that, every single thing I do. It sucks, I suck. Seems like I live in a cloud, flying and dreaming and enjoying just being.

High School

So life went on, I'd get admitted on a technological high school, the hardest type of high school that existed back then, lots of lectures and advanced physics and mathematics.
Again, thank to God, it'd find it easy and really amusing and interesting, learning lots of stuff, specially history, which I liked a lot, I learnt about all those different civilisations that had populated the world thru the past centuries, and all those wars that have plagued humanity since the beginning of times. But the school lacked something, girls.

For some reason I still don't know, I had become what some people would call "romantic". That is, I was writing poems for the small blond girl that I missed (though I never showed them to anybody, they are probably lost), started liking love songs, flowers, walks, talks and all this "weird" stuff, while my friends were only thinking in sex, which I'd also think about but as part of a bigger picture. Needless to say, I don't consider myself romantic whatsoever, I have no concept of timing, I'm not serious when I should, I always say things in a way that people always misunderstand me and take me wrong, etc. Like I said before, I always miss the bloody wagon!
Anyway, I noticed that that seemed a bit advanced for my age when I discovered people going to discos were going just to get laid. So, in these circumstances I couldn't possible go to a disco again.

The years kept on passing by, and my friends, I don't know for what strange reason, started to go to cabarets, some of them getting laid with prostitutes (even without condoms! silly youths), etc. Even those what had girlfriends!. Again, that wasn't my thing of course, and because I had never talked about girlfriends with them, they thought it was a good idea to take me to a cabaret, else they'd call me gay, thinking that because I don't talk about my sex adventures and don't do prostitutes, it's a clear sign of homosexuality; just plain immature attitude of course.

Forging a Personality

I don't know how, but I had developed a strong personality, so I stood for my privacy, silence, and my beliefs in love and respect for women, so I rejected all of their attempts to bring me down.
I've to admit that I don't know where did I get all this. My parents had given me complete freedom, it'd had been a lot easier for me than for my friends to do anything they were doing. I mean, I didn't had to tell my parents were I was going, what I was doing or when I was coming back. I could have easily done anything my friends would have to struggle with.
I guess poetry and feeling "in love" helped a lot with this.

As you can imagine, my friends would make my life a lot harder after that. For some weird reason, people tend to think that everybody has to do the same, that if one smokes, others should; than if somebody drinks, then others should; and they'd try to make you do as they do, trying to force you, exercing a lot of social pressure. You know it, you've probably felt that too.
I don't know if they want everybody to do the same so that they don't feel guilty, or because they just think they are right because they are doing something lots of people are doing. I'll have to write an essay about that sometime.

But I wasn't raised like that, I was raised to understand people, and to do whatever I wanted, whether lots of people do it or not, I'd be the judge, and I'd choose.
So, with that in mind, and a lot of strength from God, I prevailed. That forged an even stronger personality and somehow it helped me mature a lot faster, increasing the gap that I had with them. That was also helped by the fact that I was always with people (not my immature friends of course) that were older than me.
Just to note, I'm not praising myself here, I was far from mature back then and I'm still are, that's a lifetime work. I'm just exposing my point of view according to my recollection of those events. I'm not judging either, that is, I'm not saying that what they did was wrong, I'm just saying for me it seemed immature.

Funny thing, my parents would even tell me that if I wanted to smoke, they'd buy me cigarettes and to be careful with the weed, AIDS, and all those nice things young people are confronted with. I guess all parents say that, just that my parents weren't putting limits, they were actually willing to give me whatever "forbidden" stuff I'd wanted, not without warning me first of course, but shall I have asked something, I would have got it.
I remember my parents were even surprised I didn't like wine given I lived in a region of wines, but since they never forced me to anything, I went along with the not drinking attitude.
One thing they'd do, is they'd praise and encourage "good" behaviour and just warn about "bad" behaviour.
Some time ago I read that that's the way pet trainers train animals, and that's the way some wives "train" their husbands, funny isn't it?

The last years of high school were very hard because of the way I was. But eventually my friends gave up on their attempts to "make me one of them" or to "corrupt me" like they used to say, I guess they understood I wasn't going to give up. Besides, they couldn't seem to be able to leave me out.

My friends were into all vices, drinking, smoking, going with prostitutes, etc. They even went to videotape themselves having sex (of course the girl wouldn't know!) to show off!. Funny thing, one of the guys later started dating seriously one of the girls he'd videotaped and mysteriously, that tape disappeared. They used to show the videos when getting together to study. I saw some of the tapes. It was so pitiful to watch, they couldn't even come.

Even in these circumstances, I had lots of fun and I wouldn't change my childhood nor my adolescence for anything.

Learning French

Then, in 1998, I started learning French. It was the FIFA World Cup and France was hosting it, so there was a lot of fuss about France. Given my "romantic" side, I told to myself that it was a good opportunity to learn the "language of love".
I studied it for about 2 years, and in the meantime I got selected for an scholarship to go to Germany. It was great, I mean, back then I had never ever thought about leaving the city I was born in. Distances seemed huge and though I had always dreamed of working abroad, it was "just a dream".

Back when I was 10, me and my friends set ourselves some objectives. I'd be the physicist (I couldn't be a doctor because I wouldn't be able to accept the fact that some time I wouldn't be able to help somebody, I guess my limitless notion of life interfered here), a friend of mine would be the chemist and so on, and we'd go to work abroad.
It is amazing how some of us we managed to accomplish that. I didn't become a physicist but an engineer, though I hesitated between engineering and teaching. Given I'm not good a socialising, I guessed I'd be a bad teacher.
My friend did study chemistry though I don't have anymore news from him.

We were three very good friends, we lived very close to each other, one across the street, and another right next to my parent's house. We used to play football for hours, just the three of us and some of their smaller brothers.

The guy that lived next to my place was born just a few days later than me. But he had troubles when he was born and he had to get surgery in the head right after having born.
I have always admired that guy like my own brother. He was like the purest soul I've ever known. He was a bit like Forrest Gump due to the problems he had when born.
The sister of my mother, my ant, she is like that too, though her IQ was even lower.
When I saw the film, I thought about my friend and realised how lucky I was to have a friend like that.
He was so pure in deed that he'd be incapable of lying, incapable of talking bad about other people, incapable of anything bad and always forgiving.
I dreamt of being like that, of being capable of forgivinness, of being a good person like they are, the purest form, not a single bad thought, trusting every single person.
I'm not like that, like we all do, we tend to classify persons according to our previous experiences. I call that prejudices, sometimes they are accurate, but sometimes they aren't, and because of those that aren't I'd like not to have any prejudices. It's easy to say and extremely hard to do though.

Back to my friend, everybody would abuse of his good will, including me. I feel ashamed for that, as well as for the treatment I gave to my own brother.
Nevertheless, I believe I am very lucky to have had a friend like that. Understanding and appreciating his way of being helped me a lot.
Thru the years I have known a few more people that I also admire. Unfortunately, I can count that many with the fingers of my hands.
Even sadder is the fact that I met most of those people abroad or live abroad or left to leave abroad, so I can't really see them often. Only one of those persons live where I live now.

So there I was, learning French and then German at the same time. Three hours of French and nine hours of German per week. I did German for about 6 months, until I got another scholarship to go to France.

It was my father that pushed me into looking for a french scholarship. Actually I was happy living my little life over there, learning French, and German (the clerk at the German institute was really pretty), going to university to become an engineer, etc. Plus, in university as well as in high school, I was in the same class than a very good friend of mine, the guy of the dancing birthday, the one that compelled me to dance. He was a nice guy, he had a car, so he'd give me a ride to my place after university those days he didn't have to pick up his girlfriend. We used to study together. I wonder if he finally got married with that girl.
Most of my friends got married really soon, some at 16, 18, some at 20, or 21. I'm pretty sure that I'm the last. Sometimes I feel bad about them, most of them got married because they girlfriends got pregnant. Though I trully hope they are happy.

Going to France?

Given learning French and German wasn't for free, I had to pay and to my family standards that was a lot, my father once told me "what are you studying french for, you already speak English", I said, "because I like it", and he replied "why don't you ask your teachers if you can't go to France?". I guess he'd later regret having said that.

I said to myself, "yes, why not?", and so I started looking for information about universities in France. What happened?, well I found this school where they had courses on microelectronics, something I didn't even knew it could be studied. I thought that kind of knowledge could only be acquired by experience.

Most people ask me why France?, why not Spain, the UK, or someplace else. Well, I was studying french, so I just looked into French universities. Actually, it was more of a random pick, the only thing was that I was studying french, other than that, I could indeed have looked for universities in other places. After all, any European country would be better than mine.

I don't regret things, I believe that somehow everything will be fine anyway, so I don't regret not a single decision I've made. I do regret some stuff, mostly about people, but other than that I just look forward.
After all, France is a great country to live in, as is Spain or Italy and so on. It's not the country, but the willingness you've got to be happy and enjoy to the fullest wherever you live.

So I was there at my hometown, happy with my little life which I thought it was already traced. Like falling in love, finishing university, getting some job, getting married, having kids, and getting old with grandchildren, like in Trainspotting, "choose a life, choose a job...". That was my life actually, I could see it happening, I'd have never known anything else, nor take a plane, and working for Motorola would always be a dream.

Then it happened, I kept on "ballbreaking" the people from the university in France and then it happened; the thing is that my french must have been really bad and they were having trouble to understand that what I really wanted was to go to France for an engineering degree, they'd always tell me "you've to get an engineering degree to do a masters here". I finally managed to get them to understand that what I wanted was to get an engineering degree in microelectronics, that, or they just got tired of me sending them emails every day.

My First Plane Trip

So they told me to send them my CV and they'd see what they could do. So I did. After that, I had managed to convince my parents to help me with some money (I also had some money myself because I had worked some months) to go on a trip to France so that I could practice my french.
So in January 2000, I went to France on a 6 weeks trip. I arrived to Barcelona, took a train to Montpellier, then Lourdes, then Rennes, Dinan, Saint Malo, Mont Saint Michel, Paris (2 weeks), Grenoble and Annecy, from there I'd go back to Barcelona and then to my place.

It was the first time I was taking a plane, but everything happened naturally. I was also the first time I'd be completely alone for so long. I was going to a country and I could barely speak the local language. It was great. It seemed really natural. I'd just travel, take pictures, call my parents from time to time and write emails. I didn't feel lonely, it was completely natural.
To my dismay, my french wasn't good enough to meet people so I could barely practice my french. Plus, people were realising my accent was Spanish, and lots of people who knew Spanish would talk to me in Spanish! and all I wanted was to practice French!. In Montpellier and Annecy I met some people I had been talking to thru Internet, I could talk with them because they'd do more efforts than the casual people you meet out there.

I was in Paris when I got an email that changed my life. The school, which was in Grenoble, had accepted me and they were giving me the opportunity to start engineering school on the next "rentree", that is, in September 2000!. I promptly replied that I was going to be in Grenoble in a few days and they said, "great! 'cause we actually wanted to meet you!".

So I went there, and all these people were so kind, they were all so curious about that guy that had been sending lots of emails and that came from so far away to this small city which is Grenoble. They'd say, where did you hear about Grenoble?, how did you find it?

I met some teachers and we talked about the school, my studies, my motivation and, of course, I needed a scholarship to come; there was no way my parents could pay me that kind of studies abroad. They agreed on trying to find an scholarship for me. The next day (I was still in Grenoble) they sent me another email telling me to stop by because they'd need me to complete a dossier required for some sort of scholarship. I barely managed to do it with my limited french but they helped me out.
So after that, they sent the dossier, I said bye, and kept on with my travel.

When I got back, I told that to my parents and they were really happy, but somehow, they were sad too. Because I'd leave. They were actually convinced I wouldn't get the scholarship, and as matter of fact, I had doubts too. It was a scholarship from the French government, I was thinking, why would they give a foreigner a scholarship?.

I was so exited about returning to France that I was willing to go anyway, even without scholarship and work as much as I'd need to pay my studies.

On the 25th of May 2000, a few days after my 21st anniversary, I got an email saying that the results for the scholarship selection were posted on a website. I checked the website, and my name was there!!. I had been granted a full scholarship. For me it was the possibility to come to France!!. Later I'd learn that only 200 people would get it and that it was the best scholarship the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs grants, the Bourse d'Excellence Eiffel. They'd pay all my studies including the plane ticket!.

My parents couldn't believe it!, furthermore, they even thought I wasn't going to go. They were saying "what are you gonna be doing there?", "why can't you study that here?, you have everything here, you can't leave all you've got here".
My father, who had told me "why don't you ask your teachers if you can go to study to France", he'd cry.
Eventually they gave up on their kinda selfish speech (well it was their first), and were happy about me. My mother first, given she had always loved France. I remember she'd listen to Edith Piaf and sing "La vie en rose" when I was a child.

So, on the 27th August 2000, I took that plane that marked the end of an epoch and the beginning of another one.

I left lots of things behind, and somehow it was like a new beginning too. I was so excited that I couldn't possible feel sad. I guess I wanted so much to discover the world, and to be completely free, not that I wasn't like I said before, but now I'd live by myself, I'd do the bed if I wanted, I'd eat when and what I wanted, I'd wash and clean when I wanted, I'd eat french fries every day if I wanted, it was the dream of every child! On the not so bright side, I had to learn to do all that!, I had to learn how to tie a tie, how to wash, etc. Fortunately I already knew how to cook, I had always helped my mother with most of household duties. As a matter of fact, some girls would even want me to teach them how to cook! Or they'd invite me to dinner to their place, but then I'd have to cook!.

Arrivee en France

I got to Paris on the 28th, and somebody was waiting for me!, unfortunately I missed it 'cause I wasn't expecting for somebody to wait for me. At the French Embassy where I got the visa, they had given me instructions in case I got lost. So I followed them because I didn't know somebody will wait for me to drive me to the train station, give me the train ticket for Grenoble and put me in the train! (which is what would have happened shall I have not missed the person waiting for me at the airport).

It was very cool because with the instructions I had got I felt like in a spy movie. I had to show a paper to some clerk of Air France, there I'd get a bus ticket and take the Air France bus to Paris. I'd get out at some stop, cross the street and get into a phone booth (no kidding!! I had even a map for that!), dial a number and say my name. A taxi was sent, the taxi driver knew my destination and I didn't even had to pay!. The destination was a student dormitory where I'd stay until the next day 'cause I had missed the train to Grenoble. It was simply amazing.

When I got to Grenoble I had a reservation on my school's student dormitory. It was fine, but it was far from my school which was one of two that was out of the campus. So I started to look for an apartment. Lucky for me, I found this ad about an apartment in a family house. I went checking it out and it seemed nice, it was a more expensive than the dormitory but the bus for my school was right there on the corner, plus I could walk to the city center (Grenoble is not that big anyway).
I called my parents to tell them the news and I accepted the apartment.

All this could only have happened thru God's help. I had just arrived and I had already found an apartment!, plus this family was really nice, the man was a doctor and the woman was social worker. They didn't ask me anything, not a single paper or document about my school or money. They'd invite me for tea, for Christmas, etc.
On the 30th of August, I had moved out to my first apartment. School would begin on September 4th.

Change of Life

Coming to France changed my life, it changed the way I thought about life, I became aware of lots of things I wasn't aware of before or that I thought out of my reach.

Suddenly I was living in a developed country, where health insurance was universal, where everybody would get their chance, where people from all over the world were working together. I met people from places I'd never thought I'd would know anybody!. Indonesia, Sweden, Croatia, Romania, China, Vietnam, Tunis, Morocco, and a long etc.
I know that French people would say that not everything is like that, well, for me coming from an underdeveloped country it was just perfect, those people complaining should sometime go live abroad so that they appreciate what they have in Europe, and to instead of complaining and abusing the system, to care about it and to protect it.

In Europe I'd listen to all these different languages, I'd be immersed into their cultures by being friends with them. I saw Chinese and black people for the first time in my life and I'd eat stuff from so many different places, stuff I never thought I'd ever eat. I'd have the chance to practice windsurfing, to learn to swim, to do free fall, things I don't think I ever dreamt about!.

It was Liberte-Egalite-Fraternite, I learnt that here. This people had given me, some foreigner, an scholarship; they were giving out money for me to study, while my own country had not given me anything, politicians were too busy robbing money for themselves to worry about that.
I knew it, I had lived there, that's the way it has always been in my home country.

So I feel endlessly grateful to the French people for giving me that chance, for changing my life, and that of many other people.
Here I am, working in Paris as software engineer for a Silicon Valley based semiconductor company. I even got the opportunity to work for Motorola, which was one of my dreams. I didn't finally, but I could have.

They made one of my childhood dreams come true, precisely that one that I thought impossible. So now everything seems within reach, if you believe, if you dream.

In addition to all that Liberte-Egalite-Fraternite taught me, here I've been able to to stuff I'd never thought I'd do, I started to draw a while back, I'm doing a lot of photography, writing, roller skating. Coming here to Europe has helped me develop my personality and enriched my life in a way I had never expected.

L'auberge Espagnole

I also spent the last year of my studies in Barcelona as Erasmus student. That is the single best thing the EU could have come up with to blend the cultures and to unify Europe. If you're reading this and you have the opportunity to go abroad for doing Erasmus (I stress the word studies, internships abroad aren't as good because you actually have to be present, while when doing studies, you can skip all lectures; though if that's the only thing you can get, I can only say GO ON and do it!), don't hesitate a single second, don't think it twice, just GO AHEAD, you won't regret it, guaranteed.

Each year I spend in Europe is enriching, but my Erasmus year in Barcelona and the year after in Paris, have been of the best years in my life. I met people that'd later become some of the best friends I've ever had. I met people I admire and that helped me to change.

It was harder to leave Barcelona than to leave my country. For about 3 years, I couldn't even return there, I just couldn't, too many memories, too many people I met, too much fun and party.
Here in Europe I even started going to discos again because it wasn't like in my home country, here there was a bigger amount of people that were going to discos to have fun and dance, not just to pick up somebody for sex (not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not just a dick)
This year, after more than 3 years, I went back to Barcelona. It was like if I had never left. I was there to meet some friends I had met last year in Thailand. Again, I had so much fun, that my jaws, cheeks and stomach hurt!, so much I was laughing.

If you haven't done Erasmus yet, or have not lived abroad, do it, NOW!.

Le Parisien

I've been living in Paris since October 2003 when I came back from Barcelona. It is a city I just love. Walking and crossing those bridges over La Seine; doing a picnic on Champs de Mars under the Eiffel Tower; going to a restaurant in Montmartre (which happens to be my neighborhood) or Le Marais; going to take a nap on my favorite park in Avenue Breteuil, just behind L'Hotel d'Invalides, a place nobody seems to know, and where it's easy to be alone; sitting at La Seine border to see life passing by; taking pictures of gardens full of flowers; watching a film when the night falls in the open garden of La Villette; or going to Musee Rodin to draw.

From all the Erasmus students I've know here in Paris, 90% want to come back to Paris, so much they like this city.

I believe every city has great stuff, like having a walk on Barcelona's Port Vell; walking up or down Passeig de Gracia; having a nap on the beach (though I'd rather go to a deserted beach, I don't like crowded places); going to some bar in El Born or El Raval; going up to Tibidabo; having a drink in Rambla del Raval; or just wander around really late in the night when nobody's out, and watching those lighted up windows and imagining who lives there.

I think I can live anywhere, I've learnt that it's not where you live, but who you live with, and the willingness to be happy wherever you are. There's no "best city", there is good company. I've friends in so many places that I could get good company in lots of cities. Right now, I live in Paris, so I better enjoy it to the fullest until the time to change comes.

Besides, I've always wanted to move south, like south of France, a small village, like the one where Van Gogh lived, or even more south, to Spain, though in that case I think I'd like to live close to Barcelona. I guess I've to find a girl willing to live there, or anywhere else for that matter, 'cause I guess I'll live wherever she lives.

Being unreasonable

Since I came to Europe I've travelled a lot. I've lived in Grenoble more than 2 years, 14 months in Barcelona, and more than 3 years in Paris. I've been to Athens, Patras and Chania (Crete) in Greece. I've been to Croatia, pretty much all the coast, just missed Dubrovnik. To Cologne, Munich and Augsburg in Germany. To Geneva in Switzerland. To Torino in Italy. To Madrid, Valencia and of course Barcelona in Spain. To London in the UK. To Wroclaw and Cracow in Poland. To Corsica, Marseille, Hyeres, Lyon, Bayonne and many other cities in France. To San Francisco in the US. Even to the more exotic Thailand, where I went for a work camp last year, in the north up in the mountains into the jungle.
I've met people from most, if not all, countries of Europe, and I learnt Italian with my roommates in Barcelona.

Travelling is a real, if not THE real, mind opener. By travelling you learn to respect other cultures, you learn to appreciate your own culture by seeing it from a different point of view. You learn that what you give for granted might not be such thing. You learn to see both sides of the coin and to understand that extremes are never good.

I've become a mixture of cultures, I don't feel citizen of any particular country, even though I really feel European, but mostly because of the mixed culture society that lives here and because of the ideals of Liberte-Egalite-Fraternite that are the foundations of Europe. By European I mean exactly that, a mixture of cultures.
For me, borders don't exist, and I consider that, along with capitalism, some very primitive concepts. I'm more into John Lennon's "Imagine", admiring people like Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and all those who've dreamed of a better world, even if they had to die for it. A world of understanding, peace and universal happiness.

I know some people would say this world is full of wars, greed, hunger, discrimination and poverty. I do not deny their existence, all those things exist in our world of today unfortunately. But I believe in people, I have faith in people, in love, in peace, in a world for all of us, and not for some of us. Just Imagine...

I'm a dreamer, and I'll always be, for that's the world I live in, I live a dream, an utopia. I don't live in the "real" world, you will only find me in my dreams, that's why I'm kinda autist and people find it extremely hard to actually reach me.
If you ever see me waking up, don't let me please. I rather die than to give up on my dreams, for the most pitiful among men is he who give up his dreams.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
-- George Bernard Shaw

I am Roman Catholic (though not a good one unfortunately) and I try to thank God for everything I have.
"The life we've got is God's gift for us, what we do with it, is our gift to God".
(I'm not there yet and it's a long way...)

Some people would say I've everything, and I can't say I don't (well, right now I'm missing the girl), but I like to think that if I had to leave all this for what I believe, I'd do it.

Those are my beliefs. What else can I tell you?, if you're reading this it's because you already know me. Now, you might know me a bit better.

I think that's it, that pretty much resumes my past 28 years.

Back from Poland

2006-05-21T23:43:00.000+02:00

The last week I was in Poland. Guillaume and I went to visit Pauline who had been working as a volonteer for about a year over there.

She had invited us lots of times, but given the weather of Poland is not the one from Ibiza, we postponed the invitation until the summer.

We postponed to the latest we could actually, as she's coming back to Paris the next week I think.

Unfortunately, we didn't find good tickets and it was a very quick visit. We got to Cracow on thursday night, but our plane had been delayed so we got there after midnight. Then, we tried to get a taxi, but given we didn't know how it worked over there, all the polish people that came with us in the plane took all the fucking taxis. As soon as we got there, it started to rain; so there we were, without taxi and getting washed out.

Finally we managed to get a taxi. We shared with two other australians that had been traveling thru Europe. I didn't quite understood the chat they were having with Guillaume (I was on the front seat) but I think they had come to Europe just to have sex. Shit, they took a plane and travelled thousands of kilometers to have sex, they were very fond of Europeans, that or there were no more Australians available.

We got to the hotel, actually a guest house, we had made reservations thru internet like at 1h30 in the morning. The australians were going to the same place. So they check in and then when's our turn, they said that, well, we hadn't reservations!.
They came up with this bullshit about we hadn't replied to the confirmation message and stuff like that. I didn't get it, seems like we needed to confirm 79834times or something.

Guillaume when he heard about that, he enter panic state. I hadn't ever seen him like that. He was completely irrational. He started asking the clerk if we could stay there and sleep in the couch!!. What the fuck!?
I left him with his nonsensical speech because I figured eventually he'd stop, after all, the clerk was hallucinating about what she was hearing.

Well, he didn't stop, so I had to take over the situation and managed to get her call another guest house and to tell us how to get there. In the meanwhile, Guillaume was still lost in his panic or something, probably because we took the plane right after work so he must have been tired.

Well, we got to the other guest house, which ended up being a lot better than the first one, we left our baggage and took off (at 2h something in the morning) for a pub crawl.

The clerk had told us there were more than 200bars in Cracow. I doubt there were so many, or if there were, they were hidden or very small. Anyway, we went to some of the bars the clerk had told us. We did 3 bars or something and a disco. The disco was kinda weird, with only black guys and only blond women dancing to some weird music. We didn't feel like dancing so we left.

At about 4h it started to get hard to find an open bar, they were all closed, but eventually we found one of the bars that appeared in a page I had stolen from a magazine in the plane. It was quite cool, with all this hippy colourful decoration and cool people inside (as opposed to classy people on the other bars).
We stayed there until I don't know when. After that we were very hungry, but we found a kinda kebab place, actually I don't know what we actually ate, something eatable.

We got back to the hotel and went to sleep. The next day we went for some sightseen until the afternoon, when we had to take the train to go to Wroclaw where Pauline lived.

We were lucky and we found our way to the trains. Over there in Poland it was hard to get somebody to speak English, well like in any other European country probably (except for the northern European countries). I've already seen foreigners trying to get tickets in France, Italy or Spain and the clerk speaking to them in the local language because they don't speak English and the tourist don't speak the local language.

Anyway, we got to Wroclaw, and again it was raining. Pauline came to pick us up. We had some tea and then left to meet her friends. She had made reservations on a Spanish restaurant.

We had dinner and later tried to go to some bar or something, actually I don't remember. I think we went to some disco and then some bar, and had this weird conversations about China, the Equator and how the Earth is not perfectly spherical. It was quite amusing.

On saturday we went sightseen Wroclaw with Pauline, ate, and then we even went to the theater!. Yes! we went to the theater in Poland!. The thing was that some of Pauline's friends were doing a play and we were invited. Needless to say, I didn't understand much of the play, as it was in polish!.

The girls of the play were very fine though. So we were there watching a play in polish. To me it seemed like a mute movie actually so I really enjoyed it a lot. I mean there were noises (the voices) but as I didn't understand it after a while my brain was completely ignoring it.

After that we went for dinner again (I guess, as I don't recall actually) and later we tried to go to bars again. I say we tried because it started raining again (something very common in Poland) and we couldn't find a bar that pleased to everybody. At one of the bars we met some friends of Pauline, and they'd speak Basque! I was amazed when I heard those girls speaking that weird language. Though after a while I recognised it as Basque given the amount of r, k, g, a and e's in the words.

We went from bar to bar, because some didn't had enough room for us, or they were too noisy. We ended up in a very strange place. It was like a big castle, we even had to know on the door to enter!. But it was some kind of bar, or some swinger discotheque. Anyway, we stayed there until around 3h because we had to take the train at 4h. Yes, we had to take the train at 4h in the morning to go back to Cracow because our plane was leaving at noon.

Pauline came with us because another friend had arrived to Cracow too, so she came with us to pick him up.

Franzi à Paris

2006-05-18T18:40:00.000+02:00

Franzi left this morning, and tonight Guillaume and I are going to Poland to see Pauline, busy week.

I met Franzi in Thailand, just before leaving for Bangkok, in Chiang Rai. It was the last day of the work camp and because everybody was too lazy to do anything, I went alone to the city center.

As usual, I hitchhicked to the city. This time, I had to hitchhike at least twice because the first guys were going in the right direction but they weren't going to Chiang Rai's city center. Even better, the first car was a real car, with air conditioning, etc., not the usual pick-up that had had so much fun with.

So, when I was in Chiang Rai's city center, I started to look for a place to transfer my pictures to my iPod. Then I saw this blue-eyed brunette which couldn't possibly be thai. So I went talking to her, maybe she knows about a place for the pictures I said to myself.
She was pretty cool and we talked a bit. Then I left to look for the cybercafe or something and she went I don't know where.

Later on, like 30minutes later I crossed her again in the street, so I asked her if she'd like to go eat or drink something, she agreed and we went to some kind of bakery. It turned out that she was doing also a workcamp in Thailand!.

I had to meet the rest of the people someplace, so I told her if she'd like to join us. So she did. We went to see this parade about the guys that enter the monastery or something.

Anyway, after that we had to go prepare the farewell dinner-party, and for some weird reason, the camp leader didn't allowed her to come with us. I told her I'd come to pick her up so that she joined us in the party.

To her dismay, that night started to rain so I couldn't find any car that'd drive me to the city, I tried to hitchhike for about 45minutes, but no car stopped. So I came back to the party. Worst, is that she did wait for me under the rain, for I don't know how long!. Moreover, I had told her I'd give her my mosquito tent 'cause she didn't had any. Cristina, Jaume and me were leaving for Bangkok with the 9 o' clock plane, so that was like the last time I saw her.

But she wrote me an email the same day, so we kept on writing eachother, and here she's that almost a year later, she came to Paris to visit.

She arrived here the 11th. I took some days off work so that I could show her the city like I always do when some of my friends come.

We walked a lot actually and we had long talks. The weather was fine so we even did a pic-nic with some of my friends from Paris. We took lots of pictures. It was really nice. Then once she went to have coffee or something with other girls she had met in Thailand, but I was too tired to join them. I think that's pretty much it, though I might be forgetting stuff.
I think she left early this morning, so early that I barely remember it, I guess I was too sleepy.

Neus y Verena en Paris

2006-05-09T21:21:00.000+02:00

Este fin de semana largo tuve visitas otra vez, aunque esta vez fue inesperado.

Verena es una amiga de Neus, es Austríaca y fue compañera de piso de Neus cuando estuvo de Erasmus en Valencia donde estudiaba Neus.

La historia de como se conocieron es muy graciosa. Neus vino de Erasmus a Paris en 2003-2004, y fue aquí que la conocimos. Enfin, Matthieu, Neus et Yvonne (quién también había venido de Erasmus a Paris en 2003-2004) se habían ido de vacaciones a Valencia, a casa de Neus.

Yo, como un boludo tuve que quedarme trabajando porque estaba de stage y la empresa donde estaba no quería darme ni un día libre (una larga historia que contaré en otro momento)

Enfin, que como Verena iría de Erasmus a Valencia en 2004-2005, se había ido a buscar apartamento en verano. Se encontró con Matthieu, Neus et Yvonne, Neus le dijo que podría compartir apartamento con ella, y la invitaron a venirse con ellos a casa de Neus.

Lo que no sabía la chica es que Matthieu, Neus et Yvonne, después continuaban el viaje y se iban de camping!. Y bueno, ya que se había venido, prosiguió con el viaje de incrustada.

Pobre chica, estuvo no se cuántos días vestida con la misma ropa, ya que sólo se había llevado bikini y alguna remera y pantalón.

Bueno, que así fue como Neus y Verena se conocieron.

Esta semana Verena había venido de excursión con su universidad a Paris, ya que estudia arquitectura y paisajismo.

Lo que pasa es que ella quería quedarse unos dias más, pero no tenia donde quedarse.

Neus tampoco tenía donde quedarse!! y estaba quedándose en mi casa porque todavía no podía ir a su nuevo apartamento!.

Al final vinieron las dos a mi casa. Yo le había dado otro juego de llaves a Neus y como estaba cada uno tenía cosas diferentes que hacer, casi no las ví. De hecho creo que Verena durmió un día en mi casa y yo sólo la conocí la mañana siguiente!.

Verena resultó ser tan simpática y loca como habían dicho así que nos divertimos un montón.

Back from London

2006-05-01T23:03:00.000+02:00

This May 1st bank holyday I was in London again. We were Alexandra, Erica, Guillaume, Laura and me.

Actually, I didn't know Alexandra nor Erica, they were friends of Laura, they were quite cool. I don't know for what reason Laura decided to go to London, she was coming to Paris to visit, and then she was also going to London!. Anyway she invited us and because Guillaume and I can't say no to travelling, we came.

Guillaume and I, together with Cedric had already been to London in January.

This time was supposed to be different because we were going with girls, so there was a higher likelihood to do some sightseen. Last time we were to London with Guillaume and Cedric we only came to go out and party ourselves out.

Anyway, to tell you the truth, Laura was being a bit ballbreaker and autist. The girls had taken the plane to come and they were arriving before us.

On friday night we celebrated Laura's 25th anniversary that she had come to celebrate to Paris (shit, how much can this people like this city!). Since the girls were arriving before us, we set the appointment to be at the youth hostel we had made reservations in.

When Guillaume and I got there (we took the Eurostar), we waited for Laura's sms, we waited, and waited. We had no news from her, so we decided to start our tour.

Caroline moved to London in January so we called her to arrange meeting her. Elisa was working in London since February or something.

So we called Caroline who kindly invited us to her house for dinner. We didn't managed to have dinner, because we got lost, the tube (that's how the britons call the Underground) wasn't working (that's what you get when you have private companies holding an olygopoly), and so we missed Caroline's dinner time. She had cooked some cookies for us though.

In the meanwhile, we had news from Laura, but we couldn't arrange our schedules to match. We were going to the National Gallery and they to the TATE Modern. Anyway, we all met at the youth hostel were we (Guillaume and I) tried to get some rest because later we'd go have dinner with Caroline.

For the first day we didn't have reservations together, we had a 4bed room and the 5th bed on another room. Because I don't mind, I told them to take the 4bed.

My room was a room for 12. And you could feel it was for 12. When I got there there were some Canadian girls and some American guy, plus a bunch of Spanish guys that spent the whole time talking about how they'd get laid with whom that night.
So I thought they should know places to go out, but it turned out they sucked. They hadn't even heard about The Fabric!.

After having some rest we went to Caroline's, we got lost, etc, etc.

Caroline's place was quite curious, specially her roomates, they were three girls living there in a small typical british house. One of the roommates was doing Kung Fu and we could hear her from downstairs jumping and kicking stuff.

The other girl, who unfortunately wasn't there was even more curious. She had this pole in the middle of the living room, and she used to dance. How to explain this, it was a pole of those you see in cabarets, with the girls dancing around the pole. Well that kind of pole, and that kind of dancing!. Fuck it!! why on earth she wasn't there!!??

I managed to convince Caroline to play with the pole, and it was so funny 'cause she didn't know how to do it.

Anyway, after that we went to a pub close to Caroline's. It was a real british pub, all the people inside were real British, not like in central London where there are lots of tourists. Here everybody was British. It was really nice. The only thing was that it was quite packed and the music was too loud to talk.

Yet, that hasn't ever kept Caroline from talking. We talked a lot, though at some point we had to leave or else we'd lost our voices. We tried to go to another disco, but it seemed it was getting empty cause it was really late, so even though Caroline wanted to go in, we didn't finally.

I guess we could have stayed at Caroline's, but we took the night bus and came back. It was fucking cold at 5h in the morning.

When I was getting asleep at 6h in the morning, I got an sms from Elisa who was telling me she was doing a picnic with her friends and that we were invited.

We proposed that to Laura and her friends but they didn't feel like coming. So only Guillaume and I went to the picnic. There we met Elisa and all of her friends, including her 7 roommates or so. It was quite nice.

After that we went to meet Alexandra, Erica and Laura to Camden Town. That night, sunday, we were supposed to meet Caroline again so after a while we went back to the youth hostel to rest. The girls stayed at Camden Town. But later Caroline called to tell us that she was tired. So we went to Camden Town to meet the italian girls.

I don't know if it was because she had bought lots of stuff, or because she was a bit drunk, but Laura wasn't so ballbreaker that night.

The next day, Monday, would be our last. We met Caroline to go to the British Museum which was just in front of our youth hostel and then to Regent's Park I think, we had lots of fun with Caroline and her endless stories, I just can't believe how much could somebody talk, and she's supposed to be British!, britons are calmed and quiet, some would say boring, but she's a real British!.

Then we ate with the Laura & Cie just before they left. I guess we spent more time with Caroline and Elisa than with Laura and her friends. Sad, but we had loads of fun with Caroline, even though I didn't touch her breasts this time!

After that we went to meet Elisa again 'cause she had invited us to the restaurant where she works, "Bella Italia" I think was the name. And after that, we met Caroline again. Wow!, it was a weekend packed of fun, not a single moment to rest. Caroline would walk us to Waterloo station where we took the Eurostar back to Paris.

ca y est

2006-03-12T17:24:00.000+01:00

c'est parti